haunted

Something about a clear fall day.  The sky stretches blue, wide open and trusting, reflecting the browngoldyellows of the northern bc tundra.  The roads are the clearest that they will be in months, caught in between the mud and rain of summer and the snow of winter.  They too, stretch out before me.  I feel the strangest pervasive calm, and a serene anticipation.  Something lonely in this scene, and yet all these scratchings have the deja vu of emphemeral momentos, like it's all a postcard of another time.  Is this the way my body has been conditioned to react to this scene.  Deep meloncholy tinges, satisfaction - it's that feeling of having a secret and knowing it won't last.  It's on this kind of day that inexplicably, I can smell him.  My brain keeps slipping pegs and  I have to remind myself of where and when I am.